My List

Before I was pregnant, I had a list of worries, things I would not do and things I planned to do. I wouldn't say all of that is out the window; in fact, I think I've followed my own plan as much as possible. But I'm definitely learning to adjust and try to let somethings go. That can be pretty tough for someone who is a project manager (read: obsessive planner) for a living.

My list...

• I will not eat junk food, fast food or give in to bad cravings. 
• How I've done: Actually, ok on this one. I believe in moderation. Yes, I've eaten Taco Bell and Burger King. But only on occasion and the rest of what I've eaten is fairly healthy. In my experience, my "cravings" are not truly cravings...it's more of what I thought I could keep down the first three months. So I don't really sit and think about chocolate cake or milkshakes, which is good. 

• I will not lay on the couch and not do anything. 
• How I've done. Horribly, until recently. All of the pregnancy blogs and emails I read insisted I would feel so much better if I forced myself to engage in physical activity. Truth is, I've never known exhaustion like the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. If you've ever had a day at work when you physically had trouble keeping your eyes open, that was my day, every day for weeks on end. Since Neil and I carpool, I was actually falling asleep in the car on the way home from work. The past two weeks, I was able to get out more and I'm starting a prenatal yoga class tomorrow so hopefully I can maintain that through the rest of my pregnancy.

• I will not let unsolicited advice bother me. 
• What is it about people who feel they need to state the obvious? They think I don't know that new parents don't sleep, that babies are expensive, that childbirth is painful or that you won't know exactly what to do until the baby is here. Do they just not know what else to say? Do they take glee in trying to frighten me? It bugs the hell out of me even though I try to nod and smile like they've just bestowed the wisdom of the ages upon me. Thanks for that.

• I will not freak out.
• OH. MY. GOD. Ok, so if the people above who like to point out the obvious wanted to actually be helpful, they would tell you the scary, Freddy Kreuger shit that happens when you're pregnant. If you've never been pregnant, every twinge, cramp and new symptom (or lack of symptom) will scare the ever-loving crap out of you at first. I promised myself I would never look up stuff on the internet (laugh with me HAHAHHAHAHAHA you fool). At first, I was getting migraines and I wanted to know some non-medication treatments. I found a pregnancy forum at one point where the women were stating that migraines=potential miscarriage because they are caused by a drop in hormones. Stuff like that. People on the internet are cray cray.

• I will not neglect relationships.
•  While I feel even closer to Neil, other relationships have posed a challenge. I forget dates, conversations (pregnancy brain is a real thing) and am often too tired to commit to any sort of social outing. When I do, I often have to reschedule or cancel because while I'm feeling better now, I still get worn out easily. This goes for work too--I had to move so many meetings around due to morning sickness that I had to tell my client why so she didn't think I was a flake. I've never been one to hold it against those who are going through a rough patch because I've been through Neil's cancer and I know how isolating it can be and how hard maintaining relationships is. If I've done any of this to you, it's not you! It's me (cliche but true).

And that's my list so far. I'm sure there's much more to come.